Through My Eyes

 

If only you could see you

The way that I see you

You would see a king

Majestic and mighty

Powerful beyond measure

Regarded highly

Witty and wise

Yeah…

That’s how you look through my eyes.

 

If only you could see you

The way that I see you

You would see an angel

Full of potential

Touched with humility

Incapable of incivility

A demigod in human-size

Yeah…

That’s how you look through my eyes.

 

If only you could see you

The way that I see you

You would see a ray of light

Radiant and bright

Dispelling the darkness

Turning seed into harvest

Heaven’s glorious surprise

Yeah…

That’s how you look through my eyes.

 

 

If only you could see you

The way that I see you

You would see just an ordinary man

The future in his hands

With determination and drive

And the will to survive

Greatness his prize

Yeah--

That’s how you look through my eyes…

 

And yet there’s so much more

That you could see

If only you looked at you

Like me

You’d know your limit’s the skies

If only you could see you

Through my eyes.

Real Women

a real woman's walk
is more like a strut
she knows who she is
no ifs ands or buts
her life by Christ has been renewed
so she walks like she walks
cuz she walks in new shoes

a real woman's talk
is seasoned with grace
not a word, nor a syllable said out of place
she doesn't have time for gossip or chatter
she talks like she talks
cuz pleasing God matters

a real woman's faith
can make mountains move
can weather a storm
God's power to prove
she's not consumed by worry or fret
her faith is her faith
cuz God's never failed her yet

but a real woman's worship
is her biggest threat
it comes from her belly
way past fear or regret
it comes from a place
of deepest thanksgiving
she'll worship Him
as long as she's living

real women, arise
real women go forth
know who you are
know your worth in the Lord
know the power He's given within
keep your garments spotless
untainted by sin
and trust in Him
who authors your story
walk in His will
and manifest God's glory

©josie james (2011)

Moving Forward?

hello to the blogosphere out there!

i have to confess that i am not certain what drew me to my blog this evening...but i'm almost mad that i came back to it. i haven't blogged or read any of my previous posts in a while, but...wow! i had to email my best friends and tell them that "2006 me" slapped "2011 me" in the face.

i cannot believe that i am dealing with the same issues...and worse!

what happened to moving forward? what happened to growing in grace? it feels like none of that happened. "certain someone" is still very much a part of my life and i am having some of the same struggles....

interestingly enough, the Lord has been laying blogging on my heart, as something i should return to doing actively.

i'll be praying...

Seasons

Whom Shall I Fear?

This poem was inspired by a poem called "Liquid Love" written by Gabriel Fearing.

Whom shall I fear?
For Your love surrounds me
Fire by day
A cloud in the eve
Your protection spills o'er me
From high above
As Your blood rains down
Like liquid love.

Of whom indeed
Shall I be afraid?
You hover o'er me
Your wings my shade
Eternal Buckler
And Shield of my heart
May I dwell in Your presence
And never depart.

Whom shall I fear?
Thou art by my side
No evil can harm
In Your palm's hollow I hide
I am safe evermore
And feel no alarm
Resting secure
In Your strong arm

What have I to fear?
What have I to dread?
Your blood is the wine
Broken body the bread
I ate of the bread
And drank of the wine
And was filled by Your Spirit
Precious, Divine.

Whom shall I fear?
Your love is the spark
That ignites the flames
That dispel the dark.
Your loving protection
More than I dreamed of
Your blood rains down
Like liquid love.

~soledad evans (2010)

When I'm Too Old

When I'm too old to remember
I promise never to forget
Your tender words
Your loving heart
Your smile when first we met.

When I'm too old to remember
I know I shall recall
Your gentle soul
Your counsel wise
Your kindness above all.

When I'm too old to remember
On this I will reflect
Your fervent care
Your thoughtful ways
More than I should expect.

When I'm too old to remember
And too blind to truly see
Too deaf to hear
Too numb to feel
The world that surrounds me

Still I know I will forever
Cherish the moments spent with you
Each sight, each sound
And warm embrace
Of perfect love so true.

~soledad evans (2010)

The Great Pretender

I wanna live like I pretend to
I wanna put an end to
The duality
That lives in me
I want there to be
No enmity
Between God and me
Or ‘tween me and God
See this straight and narrow path I trod
(Or, better said, plod
And move with reluctant feet
Less often forward than in retreat)
This path requires my all
No sacrifice considered too small
In light of the ultimate sacrifice made
My all on the altar should be laid.
But,
Guess what.
Quite frankly, it’s not.
I just seem to be
What I’m not, you see.
Oh yes, I am the Great Pretender
And constant defender
Of a life compromised
A mask of holiness as my disguise.
And of the glory of God, I fall short
Not meditating on things of good report
Using the Almighty as a last resort
Abandoning His presence for worthless consort
And pretending
Not comprehending
The danger impending
Always intending
Better to do
But when you look at me you have no clue
Cause I know just how to raise both my hands
I know when to kneel and I know when to stand
I know how to shout and to sing all the songs
I know all the ways to conceal my wrongs
I know the Holy Ghost dance; how to move my feet
Yet all of these actions are a bold-faced deceit.
And I just wanna live the way I pretend
Christ’s sacrifice no longer offend
The snares of this life finally transcend
Father please help me as I intend
Better to do
I’ve just described me,
Could this be you, too?

a debtor's letter

hello there, money,
my dear old friend
just a quick note
to see how you've been
it seems like we haven't
talked in a while
and i must admit
i miss your smile
i'm not too sure
why we drifted apart
but you oughtta know
you're dear to my heart
since you've been gone
life just isn't the same
maybe it was my fault
and i am to blame
so i've searched for you
both low and high
not knowing where you are
kept me up at night
i finally asked God for you one day
He said you'd return
if i but trust Him and wait
well, i've been trusting
and i haven't seen you yet
so in case you forgot,
please note my address
i'm at the end of cheap street
near broke boulevard
if you pass the big house
you've gone too far
dear money, i care not
what caused you to leave
i await your return
with no tricks up my sleeve
i'll welcome you back
with wide open arms
hold you close
and keep you from harm.
signed with all sincerity
a truly humble and expectant
me

--soledad evans (2008)

Don't Wanna Be

(dedicated to "certain someone")

This may sound
Overwrought
But I don’t wanna be
An afterthought
Thought of long after
The laughter
In your eyes
Dies.

I don’t wanna be
Some last resort
Striving
But always seeming to fall short
Of your perfect ideal.

See, I’m trying to conceal
A great deal
Of the unreal
Pain I feel
As my love for you
Goes unrequited
Slighted
Blighted
Practically uninvited
And
Essentially rejected
Disrespected
Naked and unprotected…
…and exposed.

Yet, I don’t want the option of “us”
To be foreclosed
My soul longs to be with yours
Juxtaposed
Moving along one course
As one unstoppable force
With forever in view.

Baby, you and me, two
We could pass through
The stuff of life with ease
Like leaves in a soft breeze.
There’d be nothing we couldn't do…

I just don’t wanna be
Without you.

~soledad evans (2008)

the more things change....

...the more things stay the same. is that true? i've heard the statement made at various times and about various things and have always wondered about it's truthiness (don't believe it's a word? see for yourself: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/truthiness)....

take, for instance, what i'm feeling today. very appropriately, my launchcast radio player from yahoo! is playing "i'm going down" mary j's version. that's how i feel right now. "oh i don't what to do, if i ever lose you" is the line that she just sang. those are my sentiments exactly. that's what i wish certain someone would understand.

that is not to say that i would be devastated if we weren't to be together any longer (i do NOT receive that into my life), but i do think he should know that i would rather not live without him. i will if i have to, though.

i don't think he realises that there is nothing that i would not do for him and that all i require in return is a little love, affection and attention. i don't think that's too much. i suppose he would say that i know what he is going through and what his situation in life is like and that i should therefore understand if he cannot respond to me like i would want him to.

but, in all honesty, i think something he said the other day was about as truthy (ok, maybe i made that one up!) a statement as has ever been made. he said that we could not continue on for much longer and that everyday he expected (at least subconciously, if not actively) for me to call it quits whether in word or in deed. perhaps this thing has run its course. perhaps i am trying to hold onto something that is struggling to be let go. perhaps God is telling me that it is time for letting go. perhaps i am ignoring all the signs and doing what i want because i want it. perhaps i am being an impetuous child.

perhaps....

but perhaps, i love him and just want him to love me back. perhaps i've been singing this tune for almost five years...perhaps if i always do what i always did i will always get what i always got...

perhaps, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

dowerless daughter

i'm a dowerless daughter
i have no means to entice
my eyes aren't quite pretty
my shape not so nice
i am not possessed
of a seductive air
even my footsteps
whisper beware
i have a rough touch
from hands that aren't smooth
my voice, unmelodious,
refuses to soothe
nothing about
my persona compels
i cannot play tricks
and know of no spells
what men really want
i don't offer it seems
i'm the plain jane next door
not the girl of your dreams
just a dowerless daughter
resigned to her fate
with no hopes of changing
her lonely state...

~soledad evans (2007)