the more things change....
...the more things stay the same. is that true? i've heard the statement made at various times and about various things and have always wondered about it's truthiness (don't believe it's a word? see for yourself: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/truthiness)....
take, for instance, what i'm feeling today. very appropriately, my launchcast radio player from yahoo! is playing "i'm going down" mary j's version. that's how i feel right now. "oh i don't what to do, if i ever lose you" is the line that she just sang. those are my sentiments exactly. that's what i wish certain someone would understand.
that is not to say that i would be devastated if we weren't to be together any longer (i do NOT receive that into my life), but i do think he should know that i would rather not live without him. i will if i have to, though.
i don't think he realises that there is nothing that i would not do for him and that all i require in return is a little love, affection and attention. i don't think that's too much. i suppose he would say that i know what he is going through and what his situation in life is like and that i should therefore understand if he cannot respond to me like i would want him to.
but, in all honesty, i think something he said the other day was about as truthy (ok, maybe i made that one up!) a statement as has ever been made. he said that we could not continue on for much longer and that everyday he expected (at least subconciously, if not actively) for me to call it quits whether in word or in deed. perhaps this thing has run its course. perhaps i am trying to hold onto something that is struggling to be let go. perhaps God is telling me that it is time for letting go. perhaps i am ignoring all the signs and doing what i want because i want it. perhaps i am being an impetuous child.
perhaps....
but perhaps, i love him and just want him to love me back. perhaps i've been singing this tune for almost five years...perhaps if i always do what i always did i will always get what i always got...
perhaps, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
take, for instance, what i'm feeling today. very appropriately, my launchcast radio player from yahoo! is playing "i'm going down" mary j's version. that's how i feel right now. "oh i don't what to do, if i ever lose you" is the line that she just sang. those are my sentiments exactly. that's what i wish certain someone would understand.
that is not to say that i would be devastated if we weren't to be together any longer (i do NOT receive that into my life), but i do think he should know that i would rather not live without him. i will if i have to, though.
i don't think he realises that there is nothing that i would not do for him and that all i require in return is a little love, affection and attention. i don't think that's too much. i suppose he would say that i know what he is going through and what his situation in life is like and that i should therefore understand if he cannot respond to me like i would want him to.
but, in all honesty, i think something he said the other day was about as truthy (ok, maybe i made that one up!) a statement as has ever been made. he said that we could not continue on for much longer and that everyday he expected (at least subconciously, if not actively) for me to call it quits whether in word or in deed. perhaps this thing has run its course. perhaps i am trying to hold onto something that is struggling to be let go. perhaps God is telling me that it is time for letting go. perhaps i am ignoring all the signs and doing what i want because i want it. perhaps i am being an impetuous child.
perhaps....
but perhaps, i love him and just want him to love me back. perhaps i've been singing this tune for almost five years...perhaps if i always do what i always did i will always get what i always got...
perhaps, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
posted by Haydn Rhys | 12:40 PM
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