oh...uh uh! no he didn't...
...said the enraged fat girl in my head. a guy that i met about ten months ago when i started working (a secretary in my office) has decided to ask me out.
now.
10 months and 65 pounds later and lighter.
and i was so caught off guard, i accepted and even gave him a time. i'm going to have to flake on him, of course (oh please! like you didn't know that...).
what enrages me is that he never said anything about me looking good 10 months ago. and who knows? maybe 10 months ago i would have readily gone out with him, but now? his shallowness and overwhelming concentration on the superficial is so apparent that just now, even thinking about it make me want to puke or punch him or some combination of the two. i mean, what the hell? doesn't he think that i know that all of his intentions now are peurile at best. he's obviously not looking for something of substance with me because i have only externally changed (at least in his perception) in the last 10 months. that's it. end of story.
and i'm mad at me for accepting because now i have to think like mad to come up with some excuse that might work to get me out of this unfortunate date that i have unwittingly set up...okay, so maybe not unwittingly, but certainly not freely and voluntarily...
"certain someone," for all of his faults--of which they are many, as numerous as the sand--loved me at size 18 and loves me now at 6/8. "certain someone" saw the me beyond the exterior AND (more importantly) "certain someone" was attracted to the then exterior (of course, he likes the now exterior better, but i'm AMAZING now, can you blame him?).
an uncommonly wise young attorney has advised me that perhaps i should give the guys who are attracted to me now (as opposed to ten months ago) a break because perhaps the confidence that i exude now at size 6/8 was not quite as apparent at size 18. and while i certainly understand "uncommonly wise young attorney's" point, i feel that i don't look that drastically different. size-wise, yes definitely. but my proportions are the same. and my face certainly is as well. as for my confidence level, i don't think i was ever self-deprecating and wallflowerish around "legal secretary," so there is no reason now for confidence to make a big difference.
in the grand scheme of things, it should not matter. "legal secretary" and i are not going to get married, we are not going to get physical, we're not even having a meal together. we're going to see a movie. i guess i can go. i suppose the real problem is that i wish it was "certain someone" taking me to the movies and not "legal secretary."
hmmm...maybe, agrees "enraged fat girl", but "legal secretary" is still wrong for what he did!
now.
10 months and 65 pounds later and lighter.
and i was so caught off guard, i accepted and even gave him a time. i'm going to have to flake on him, of course (oh please! like you didn't know that...).
what enrages me is that he never said anything about me looking good 10 months ago. and who knows? maybe 10 months ago i would have readily gone out with him, but now? his shallowness and overwhelming concentration on the superficial is so apparent that just now, even thinking about it make me want to puke or punch him or some combination of the two. i mean, what the hell? doesn't he think that i know that all of his intentions now are peurile at best. he's obviously not looking for something of substance with me because i have only externally changed (at least in his perception) in the last 10 months. that's it. end of story.
and i'm mad at me for accepting because now i have to think like mad to come up with some excuse that might work to get me out of this unfortunate date that i have unwittingly set up...okay, so maybe not unwittingly, but certainly not freely and voluntarily...
"certain someone," for all of his faults--of which they are many, as numerous as the sand--loved me at size 18 and loves me now at 6/8. "certain someone" saw the me beyond the exterior AND (more importantly) "certain someone" was attracted to the then exterior (of course, he likes the now exterior better, but i'm AMAZING now, can you blame him?).
an uncommonly wise young attorney has advised me that perhaps i should give the guys who are attracted to me now (as opposed to ten months ago) a break because perhaps the confidence that i exude now at size 6/8 was not quite as apparent at size 18. and while i certainly understand "uncommonly wise young attorney's" point, i feel that i don't look that drastically different. size-wise, yes definitely. but my proportions are the same. and my face certainly is as well. as for my confidence level, i don't think i was ever self-deprecating and wallflowerish around "legal secretary," so there is no reason now for confidence to make a big difference.
in the grand scheme of things, it should not matter. "legal secretary" and i are not going to get married, we are not going to get physical, we're not even having a meal together. we're going to see a movie. i guess i can go. i suppose the real problem is that i wish it was "certain someone" taking me to the movies and not "legal secretary."
hmmm...maybe, agrees "enraged fat girl", but "legal secretary" is still wrong for what he did!
posted by Haydn Rhys | 11:40 AM
1 Comments:
well, while i certainly understand enraged fat girl's feelings on this subject, i know where "legal secretary" is coming from. i'm a size 18, and i know better to judge people based on their size, but i'm just not attracted to large men. it's one thing to respect people regardless of their appearance; wanting to get down and dirty is a whole other thing. i know men dismiss me because of my size everyday, and i don't hold it against a single one of them. i wouldn't want to sleep with me either.
and i do agree, you're probably displaying more confidence now at your current size than you did previously (i know it's true with me, and i've only dropped 2 sizes), and everyone around you, including "legal secretary," will pick up on it. maybe it's not the physical change that caught his attention...
Post a Comment
<< Home