The Great Pretender

I wanna live like I pretend to
I wanna put an end to
The duality
That lives in me
I want there to be
No enmity
Between God and me
Or ‘tween me and God
See this straight and narrow path I trod
(Or, better said, plod
And move with reluctant feet
Less often forward than in retreat)
This path requires my all
No sacrifice considered too small
In light of the ultimate sacrifice made
My all on the altar should be laid.
But,
Guess what.
Quite frankly, it’s not.
I just seem to be
What I’m not, you see.
Oh yes, I am the Great Pretender
And constant defender
Of a life compromised
A mask of holiness as my disguise.
And of the glory of God, I fall short
Not meditating on things of good report
Using the Almighty as a last resort
Abandoning His presence for worthless consort
And pretending
Not comprehending
The danger impending
Always intending
Better to do
But when you look at me you have no clue
Cause I know just how to raise both my hands
I know when to kneel and I know when to stand
I know how to shout and to sing all the songs
I know all the ways to conceal my wrongs
I know the Holy Ghost dance; how to move my feet
Yet all of these actions are a bold-faced deceit.
And I just wanna live the way I pretend
Christ’s sacrifice no longer offend
The snares of this life finally transcend
Father please help me as I intend
Better to do
I’ve just described me,
Could this be you, too?