not love

come here, i got something to tell you, boo
this ain't love that i feel for you
oh come on baby, you know it's true
don't act like you just heard something new.
you've actually known for quite some time
there's no love for you in this heart of mine
and no matter how hard i try
to say "i love you" would be a lie.
it's not about you, in fact, it's me
one nagging thought won't let me be
when i try to put some love behind these eyes
you look back at me and to my surprise
i find that you see through my silly disguise.
so no more deception, i'm done with the lies
i'll tell you the truth, come totally clean
no ifs, ands or buts and no in-between.
i don't love you no more, it came to an end.
whew, now that i've said it, there's no need to pretend.
but don't go baby, 'cause i'm not through,
there's one more thing i need to say to you.
this thing that i feel, there ain't no words for
it's like love times a million plus infinity more
way passed describing with limited expression
goes the depth my heart and breadth of connexion
so please understand when i say this ain't love
'cause that word can't convey all i'm capable of
you're of the beat of my heart, each breath i take is for you
and i hope without end you don't love me too.

--soledad evans (2007)