taking responsibility

okay, so while i understand that our lives are shaped as much by external forces as by our own will and determination...more or less...at what point do we stop resting on our laurels and take responsibility for our own actions?

as an infant, toddler, youngster, tween, teen and even young adult, most of our peccadillos have been dismissed by our age or lack of maturity or some combination of the two. it's easy to forgive a baby for manipulating a parent into giving him/her attention by crying. after all, the baby is a baby. at that stage, the entire world revolves around him/her. and nothing else matters.

but guess, what! part of growing up is learning that the objective world does not revolve around us individually. (i typed "objective" since there are those, myself included, who would argue that their world does revolve around them because it's their world and they are the center of it. i think that's true, but i'm now dealing with the world in which we ALL live). you know what? things don't always go our way. some stuff just doesn't make sense. people do not always react the way that we want them to, treat us the way that we want them to...even more shocking is that people may not show love the way we think they should. does it mean they love us any less? for some, maybe...but others, no.

don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that we can't have expectations of how things should work out. that's not it at all. of course, we should want, wish, hope, pray things work out a certain way. here's the kicker, though. we shouldn't be surprised (or worse yet, depressed and angry)when they don't. to have negative reactions (i mean, exclusively negative reactions because after all who wouldn't be even a little miffed) when things don't go the way we envisioned they should is to react with the petulence of a child. a young child at that. that's just not the way life works.

i said all of that to say...the negative things in our life happen. a jus' suh life guh (c'est la vie, for those who prefer the french...that's life, in english). yes, external forces--be they people, situations, the laws of physics--will always impact us. yes, even negatively. we're humans. it happens. but at what point do we tuck in that pouting, bottom lip, un-cross our arms, un-cringe our eyebrows, dry our streaming tears and say, hey, while i cannot be responsible for my parents, the insurgency in iraq or the earth's gravitational pull on my rather ginormous thighs, i can be responsible for my role in my current predicament.

so what if they told you that you didn't have what it takes to finish school? slap them in their smug faces with graduation, summa cum laude. so what if they told you that you'd never get married because you're fat? shut their mouths when you buy the most flattering outfit, walk with your head up and because of your confidence have men falling over themselves to talk to you. so what if they said you'd never amount to anything? make them eat their words when they have to come to you, body-bowed and humble-hearted for assistance.

take responsibility (see invictus). your life is your own...the Bible says that we must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling...remember on judgment day, God doesn't care about external forces. He cares about what you did with the time you were given.