on being a single woman

i was talking with a friend of mine this morning and she was talking about how getting married was her goal. as i listened, in my mind i harkened back to a time when she could not care less if she never married or if she had a marriage that records books would applaud. and all i could think was, what happened to bring about this change? then suddenly, it hit me. she is at the age now that i was when i got the itch to be married. but why does it really hit you during the mid to late 20s? i'm not certain, but here's what i can come up with:

1. companionship: there are just some times when your girls, though you love them, do not provide the companionship that you crave. i'm not talking about sex, either. i just mean being able to sit down and have a conversation with a man and hang out in his presence. there are times when i just want to have a man talking to me before i go to sleep. and i don't mean talking dirty. it's just nice to have that deep, male voice and to know that he is totally into you and the feeling is mutual. to know that there is no one else in the world that he'd rather talk to or spend time with.

2. married men: there comes a time in every single woman's life when married men truly start to pick up her scent. and as much as the single woman may not be trifling (though some of us are) and may not want the attention, married men seem to like the challenge of pursuing a single woman and having her fall for him so that she is always available for the times when he and the wife are not on good terms (or when the wife is at the grocery store, as the case may be). having a husband helps to ward off this unwanted attention.

3. children: towards the late 20s any single woman who has aspirations of being a mother and is not yet one has trouble when she sees babies. her uterus starts to flip flop and do handstands because it wants desperately to be of some use. and if you're like me, anonymous sperm donors from websites are not really your thing. you want the whole nuclear family thing (but really only for the sake of the children because the husband is welcome to leave at his leisure as long as you have the kids).

4. familial pressures: after a certain age, without meaning to, family members (especially the older ones) start to give you that in-law look. then at family gatherings you get asked questions like, "so haydn rhys, there's no one where you work that interests you?" or "when am i going to eat some cake?" and then the inevitable suggestions follow: lose weight, wear makeup, stop wearing frumpy clothes, go out more, stay in more, learn to cook, learn to clean, learn to knit socks, take your car to the car wash, hang out in front of home depot with a pair of short shorts on and a sign that reads: husband wanted, please take an application! or maybe that's just my family.

5. married friends: they are the worst. unlike family members who try to rush you into marriage, they give you tortured and pitied looks whenever you're out with them without a significant other. they make it seem (without saying it, mind) like you are fundamentally flawed because they were able to pull off the rather impressive coup of tricking another into marriage. the fact that you as the single woman have been unable to do so is a total reflection of your shortcomings. so really, in this situation, you want to be married only to stop the looks.

there are various other reasons, but they will remain unsaid for another day.

as for me, i want to be married. i would love to be. i would be the proverbs 31 woman/wife/mother. i promise i would. but since the Bible says that he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing, i will wait here like a diamond in a mine, to be found.