spiritual insanity
if the definition of insanity is "doing the same things the same way over and over again and expecting different results," then i am spiritually insane.
if you have read all (or even a good number) of the posts on this rather tortured blog, you will notice that i have struggled with a relationship for a while now. and as much i rise and greet each new morning with fresh resolve that i am going to do what's right in the sight of the Lord, usually by the afternoon i have already reverted to my old ways...and somehow i expect that the results will be different. somehow i think that if i do seemingly innocuous things, i will be able to avoid the deleterious consequences. i'm not sure why i think that, knowing that i have NEVER been able to avoid the deleterious consequences...so the only way to explain my behaviour is to diagnose myself as spiritually insane (hmmm...sounds like a sermon to me).
with that diagnosis in mind, it is time to treat the symptoms of my spiritual insanity in hopes of one day (soon, God-willing) restoring a right mind...the psalmist david knew what i'm talking about. if you read of his life in the Bible, you will see that he, too, was spiritually insane. time and time again, he failed, made mistakes, grieved God's heart...yet, he was called a man after God's own heart...amazing!
now, the only thing going through my mind is psalm 51 (check it out on bible.com). king david really felt me...and i'm really feeling him, right now.
"create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me" and above all else, "cast me not away from Thy presence oh Lord and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me..." i just need some more time to treat the symptoms of my spiritual insanity. then maybe, i can be whole again.
if you have read all (or even a good number) of the posts on this rather tortured blog, you will notice that i have struggled with a relationship for a while now. and as much i rise and greet each new morning with fresh resolve that i am going to do what's right in the sight of the Lord, usually by the afternoon i have already reverted to my old ways...and somehow i expect that the results will be different. somehow i think that if i do seemingly innocuous things, i will be able to avoid the deleterious consequences. i'm not sure why i think that, knowing that i have NEVER been able to avoid the deleterious consequences...so the only way to explain my behaviour is to diagnose myself as spiritually insane (hmmm...sounds like a sermon to me).
with that diagnosis in mind, it is time to treat the symptoms of my spiritual insanity in hopes of one day (soon, God-willing) restoring a right mind...the psalmist david knew what i'm talking about. if you read of his life in the Bible, you will see that he, too, was spiritually insane. time and time again, he failed, made mistakes, grieved God's heart...yet, he was called a man after God's own heart...amazing!
now, the only thing going through my mind is psalm 51 (check it out on bible.com). king david really felt me...and i'm really feeling him, right now.
"create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me" and above all else, "cast me not away from Thy presence oh Lord and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me..." i just need some more time to treat the symptoms of my spiritual insanity. then maybe, i can be whole again.
posted by Haydn Rhys | 11:44 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home